Refuse
by mechanicsofaheart1
Summary: A prompt from Tumblr that 'explores what is going through Emma's mind when she discovers Regina on the table (dead or alive?)'. A little Swan Queen one-shot from Emma's POV. Rated M just to be safe but it is only a kiss. Thanks to her-majesty-the-evil-queen for giving it to me and your-arms-around-me for being beta. Hope you enjoy it. Share your thoughts.


"_She is in the mausoleum_" a voice deep down inside of you is telling you. This voice started talking ever since you touched Regina and her magic worked.

Now you are running towards the location.

Your parents are ten minutes behind.

In the chaos caused by Henry's kidnappers Regina went missing. One moment you were running side by side to try and find your son. Next thing you know you don't feel her magic. You turned abruptly and she was gone. Your heart ached as you green eyes saw the remaining of her purple magic cloud disappeared.

Each step towards the cold stones is bringing you closer to her. You feel her magic. It is weak but it's there.

The door is wide open and it worries you. If she has used magic it won't be. Her father's coffin is in place. You turn around feeling her magic. "_To the right_." You follow it.

There are two doors standing on your way. You open them with a swing because you think they will be locked. They are not and they hit the wall.

You don't notice it. All you see is her lying on metal table with some wires around her head. Her body is resting peacefully with her hands next to her hips. Her make-up is light and she is wearing that red blazer and black dress underneath you so much love.

You two used to joke that this was her trade mark just like white tank-top, blue jeans and red leather jacket for you.

You chase all the memories with a head shake and focus on the present.

"Regina," you whisper but you get no respond.

You run to her side and seeing her lifeless body causes your eyes to water. You reach out with tentative hand to her pulse point. The fear takes you over. Your shaking fingers come into contact with her neck flesh where her pulse is supposed to be. You take a deep breath waiting for a beating under your fingers. Nothing but dead silence. The only thing you hear is your own heartbeat pumping through your ears.

_"She is not breathing,"_ the voice emerges again but you refuse to listen to it. You grab her wrist. No pulse there too. And this is the moment when you realize what is happening.

"No," you shake your head.

This cannot be.

You refuse to lose the one person that makes everything right even if she the wrong one. She is the Evil Queen that cursed people so she can get revenge on your mother. She is the reason you grew up with your parents between foster homes and the street. She is the reason you never had any one. She is the reason why you were alone all your life.

She is the reason your heart beats now. She is the one that saved you when you came back from the Enchanted Forest. She is the one that showed you that you are not a pretty piece of meat for fun. She showed you that you are a woman worth something. She showed you that there is something more than the pretty face and the toned body. Somewhere deep inside of you there is a small place that contains all the beauty in the world: your heart.

You refuse to let go of the one person that gets you. It's been less than a month since you came back from the other world. Everything that has happened since then is making your head spin. The only thing that made sense in all the mess, were your night visits to Regina's.

It all started the night after the welcome back party at Granny's.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" She asked when you stood on her front porch at one in the morning, swaying a little from the alcohol.

"I...um...I wanted to..." came out from your lips. It sounded better in your head, though.

"What?" She tilted her head still not letting you inside.

"I-I wanted you to-to come at the party to..." _Keep going you might get to the point sometime_. "Thank you for...saving my life. Henry told me about the fairy dust you absorbed in order to save us." Your tears have emerged and showing your emotions despite your best efforts.

You still remember the confusion written all over her beautiful face.

"No-nobody has ever saved my life without gaining anything." You might have even sounded like a whiny little girl. But all you knew was that it was the truth. The alcohol had certainly given you some kick. "Nobody has ever...saved my life...yours was endangered because of it. And I...I'm grateful for that. Snow is too, but she is...you know her." You met the brown eyes peering through your soul and your mouth watered.

The sight was astonishing. You had never seen so much understanding and acceptance from anyone. That was the first time someone had listened to your half-drunken rants.

She brought her hands to your cheeks to wipe the tear streaming down. And this is the moment when time stopped. The simple gesture and the warmth of her hands were enough for you to lose control over yourself for the first time. Or maybe it was the first time you did something that some voice deep down inside of you was telling you to do it. That voice came from the red organ in your chest that beat like a lunatic.

You closed the distance between yourself and Regina until your lips came into contact with hers. It was more like a touch, without any pressure. But it was enough to make you crave for more and to feel sweet heat rising your body temperature.

Moments passed. You waited for a pinch. For her to step back. Nothing. She stayed there with her lips attached to yours.

And you did the next best thing that came to your dizzy mind that night. You took one more step forward with your toes bumping into hers applying more pressure on her lips. Her hands were still on your cheeks and you knew that she felt you smiling. You placed your palms on her hips and pulled the woman you had desired for so long closer to you. Your body flushed against hers. Your chests rose and fell in sync. You swore you could feel her nipples through her satin nightgown hardening from the friction.

You parted your lips never losing contacts with hers and close them again. The kiss is sweet and tender. Just like a first kiss should be.

Somewhere in the back of your mind you decided that doing this on her front porch is not a good idea. Your mind gave your legs the order to go forward thus bringing the former Mayor back into her house, hands never leaving her waist and lips – hers. Your left leg kicked the door back into its place.

The door fitting into its frame was like a green light for you as her lips parted enough for your tongue to dive in. Once your warm muscles touched for the very first time, a surge of heat ran through your body, waking up every part of you. It was like a new chapter of your life had been opened.

Standing in the middle of Regina's foyer, exploring with your tongue, you felt content and in the right place. You felt alive, at home, save, wanted. You felt like hers and the woman kissing you back felt like yours.

* * *

And in that tiny fragment of time you became so much more than lovers. You were each other's confidant. All secrets had been told. All past doings revealed. All regrets are gone because you both know that they got you to where you are now.

Panting between her sheets you learned that opening up to other people will hurt you only if they are the wrong one. Buried deep inside of her you learned to give and take. You are not the selfish and alone person you were before you entered her bedroom. You are mature now and it is all because of Regina, who opened her door to you and let you in. She was scared in the beginning just like you.

But fear means nothing when you have her love. Everything looks small compared to her love.

You feel the love rising from your heart and running through your bloodstream. You bent over her and remove the wires from her slightly make-up covered face. You trace her features with the tips of your fingers starting from her forehead then her left cheek down to her full, red lips. You follow her mouth's contours.

Leaning forward in True Love's kiss fashion you press your pale lips to hers. Nothing happens for a second or two.

You know she is not under any kind of curse, or is she, but your magic combined with hers and the love you have for each other makes you stronger than anyone and almost as powerful as God. All that magic in and around you has made you unbeatable and unstoppable. You can do as you see fit. It's your own curse and blessing in disguise.

Then the familiar wave of energy erupts from your connection and runs through your bodies leaving the room. You are pretty sure it sweeps over the whole of Storybrooke.

Regina inhales deeply and opens her eyes. You instinctively lock gazes and smile at each other with your noses almost touching.

"Don't scare me like that ever..." she cuts you off with a kiss that deepens instantly.

She pulls back breaking contact with you but locking eyes with yours.

"I was unconscious until you and you healing magic came." A smug smirk appears on her lips before she goes deadly serious and says, "Then I was waiting for you to just kiss me because you are my Savior."

"You devil," you respond with a chuckle.

"No," she rejects your definition and clarifies, "I'm not the Devil. I'm the Evil Queen."

"You are my Evil Queen." You state and kiss her again. You can't have enough of these lips and tongue.

You break the kiss when you hear someone clearing his throat.

It is David with Snow, looking at you, completely shocked.


End file.
